*William Blake
SCRIPTURE
Greet one another with a sacred kiss.
*Romans 16.16
SPIRITUAL TEACHING
To a disciple who was obsessed with the thought of life after death the Master said, "Why waste a single moment thinking of the hereafter?" "But is it possible not to?" "Yes." "How?" "By living in heaven here and now." "And where is this heaven?" "In the here and now."
*Anthony de Mello
I used to try to be spiritual by trying to escape the world. I hid away from others, and, possibly, I had to do that for a time. But, now, I find Heaven in an immersion in connection. In the moment in which I truly connect, spiritually, with another person, I am blessed with a more wonderful Heaven than all I heard about Heaven as a place after this life, not in the here and now, but in the later after death. That the Song of Songs 8:7 says "Many waters cannot suffocate love, many waters cannot wash it away," says to me that Love is Heaven, and Heaven begins now, for Love is happening now, if we choose.
At least, for now, I am content with the definition: Spirituality is connection. Or, Spirituality is connection across the distances that only seem to divide us. I mean spiritual connection. That is, in Blake's thought, we participate in the delight of Eternity making productions in time, and among those is connection. And the distances that only seem to divide us can be face-to-face are two persons on different continents on this Earth. Indeed, the connections can be with persons who have left this earth dimension – dare I say? Yes.
Of course, the Great Connection is with the Divine, in whatever way we speak of that Ultimate Principle, that Life Force, that Union of All Nature – the Love of Love, Life here-now. Indeed, part of the crux of spiritual distance is how varied religious movements seek to “own” a version of Spirit and, then, seek to impose that on all others. Therefore, religion is one of the main proponents of “distance” in our world. And the church has more than not defied the very Connection Jesus lived and taught, most often turning the faith in His Name into another tribal separatist clan. Even the concept “chosen people” is separatist and elitist, and belongs to a tribal consciousness no longer adaptable to the needs for peace and unity in the 21st Century.
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Paul the Apostle, in the conclusion of his letter to the church in Rome, implies the collective nature of spiritual community. He refers to at least 27 persons by name. Indeed, implied is that there is no purely private spirituality, for we are together as one. And where two persons commune spiritually, there is the mystical Body of Grace. And this can be as fully experienced outside a church or temple as within. Sadly, many persons do not realize this and, thus, they have divided their faith between “at church” and the rest of the week. And the Cosmic Christ has been turned into a church Christ.
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We need gestures to nurture our spiritual identity and communion with one another, and each other. In Paul's day persons greeted each other in Roman culture with a kiss on the cheek. Paul encourages this greeting, calling it among spiritual brothers and sisters a “holy” or “sacred” kiss. The kiss was a sign of the union of the Body, and it served as a confirmation and nurturing of continued fellowship, deep connection, what early Christians called koinonia.
I have no interest in going around kissing other persons generally. I really like kissing, just not kissing generally. And, likely, most of you would not like to go into a spiritual fellowship and get kissed by everyone. Fortunately, the “holy kiss” has a deeper meaning, and there are many ways to “holy kiss” without putting your lips on someone's face.
Gestures are means, again, to be signs of and further Love with the other. Different groups or persons may have chosen gestures to express commitment and affection. These can include the traditional Sharing the Peace, shaking hands, hugging, smiles, kneeling together, and, yes, a kiss.
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The main issue with gestures of communion is the intent and consent. Gestures in spiritual community need to be thoughtful and intentional. Just sticking out a hand or saying “How are you doing?” without a spiritual intent spiritually means little or nothing. Sometimes when a person says to me, “How are you doing?,” I kindly reply, “Do you really want to know?” Most persons really have no intent to know. There can be no strong, deep bond spiritually among persons without intentional practice of gestures. Even “Hello” can be a worthy gesture, with the right intent, or it can be little more than a waste of breath.
Then, gestures in spiritual community communicate consent. When I share with someone “I love you,” I am consenting to something larger than my own wishes, agenda, or felt-needs. I am saying, “I consent to the gift and responsibilities of our sharing, our love.” Yet, again, I have seen repeatedly gestures among persons in churches who evidence no consent to the good of the other or the whole. Again, without a worthy consent, the gestures are little more than a lie – or maybe better said a lie. As with intent, without consenting practice, there can be no spiritual, evolving bond between persons.
So, that leaves you and me with a question. Each one of us can ask regarding each person we are in relationship to, “How do I want to express my intent and consent to this person?” One answer to this is, “In what ways am I learning this other is best able to receive connection from me?” These same questions pertain on a communal level; yet, typically, when in spiritual community with a group, we enter accepted ways of expressing connection. In other relationships, we often have more freedom to be creative in connecting gestures.
See, it is okay, indeed wonderful, to have an ideal of Love. We can think, “I love everyone.” Or, “I love him,” or “I love her.” But that love has to be gestured, or it remains without the needed form to connect well. And, if we truly love another or others, will we not want to seek ways that they can better hear, feel, and know our connection inwardly to them in forms outward and signifying our consent and intent to the oneness in Grace?
Spiritual Exercise
Look at one relationship you are in. Ask yourself, “What are ways I enjoy expressing connection with him, or her?” Then, ask, “What are ways I sense he, or she, best receives my connection?” This last question is an acknowledgment that sometimes the way we want to connect may not be the way the other, or others, best receives connection. I guess we could say, “There are different Connection languages among persons."
© OneLife Ministries. Jan 26, 2010.
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*OneLife Ministries is a ministry of Brian Kenneth Wilcox, SW Florida. Brian lives a vowed life and with his two dogs, Bandit Ty and St. Francis. While within the Christian path, he is an ecumenical-interspiritual teacher, author, and chaplain. He is Senior Chaplain for the Charlotte County Jail, Punta Gorda, FL.
*Brian welcomes responses to his writings at briankwilcox@yahoo.com . Also, Brian is on Facebook: search Brian Kenneth Wilcox.
*You can order his book An Ache for Union from major booksellers.
